Lacerare

I've been slacking off these days

Yes, new sem, new subjects, new lecturers, new class.
And no, no 'New' stress , its just the same old stresses.
No, still not sure of which direction i wanna go in future[manga artist?director?storyboard artist?]
Yes, Assignments deadline makes me anxious bout almost everything.
Yes, HAIR LOSS ,MASSIVE HAIR LOSS.
I can overcome lack of sleep, unstable timetable , busy lifestyle , but hair loss??!
i'm not talking bout little strands of hair, after shower my toilet's water hole is basically stuck, by hair.
I know it sounded stupid I'm actually reluctant to use comb because I dont wanna be cleaning up later on, but massage is important to prevent more hair loss QAQ
 

i dont know how to deal with it. let's put that aside.
I just wanted to do what i do best , which is art . And basically, i never thought of a second option.Until the other day when my sister told me : What if you just cant,?What if you are over 30 and ur career is still on its base and you could not even take care of ur daily expenses?

I was stunt by her question, not that i never thought about it, and i know exactly how hard it could be to achieve what i want. But you never know until you try right? I understand my sister is just worrying for my future , but ya, part of me just dont wanna think about it just yet . When its the right time, i'll prepare for the worst but hope for the best. All i can do now is not to waste anytime , and keep give efforts in my art skills. Theres's a lot to learn .

And no, I dont wanna be the bitter boring adult [although i might sound like one sooner or later]
Its ok to be wise and naive the same time i guess??
And by naive i mean, let you inner child shine and live on inside you, dont restrain him/her, that's how you will gain inner peace , when the child inside you are having freedom.
Do not lose hope! Its not really about , will i be rich or getting anything else in future , but to just not waste anytime on things that i dont even like , and live my life to the fullest with the stuff i treasure ><>< [mom and dad pls stop expecting me to be famous/rich next time, i cant guarantee that :/ ]

GOODNIGHT!

ps: Hair pls stay with meeeee TT

Yes, new sem, new subjects, new lecturers, new class.
And no, no 'New' stress , its just the same old stresses.
No, still not sure of which direction i wanna go in future[manga artist?director?storyboard artist?]
Yes, Assignments deadline makes me anxious bout almost everything.
Yes, HAIR LOSS ,MASSIVE HAIR LOSS.
I can overcome lack of sleep, unstable timetable , busy lifestyle , but hair loss??!
i'm not talking bout little strands of hair, after shower my toilet's water hole is basically stuck, by hair.
I know it sounded stupid I'm actually reluctant to use comb because I dont wanna be cleaning up later on, but massage is important to prevent more hair loss QAQ
 

i dont know how to deal with it. let's put that aside.
I just wanted to do what i do best , which is art . And basically, i never thought of a second option.Until the other day when my sister told me : What if you just cant,?What if you are over 30 and ur career is still on its base and you could not even take care of ur daily expenses?

I was stunt by her question, not that i never thought about it, and i know exactly how hard it could be to achieve what i want. But you never know until you try right? I understand my sister is just worrying for my future , but ya, part of me just dont wanna think about it just yet . When its the right time, i'll prepare for the worst but hope for the best. All i can do now is not to waste anytime , and keep give efforts in my art skills. Theres's a lot to learn .

And no, I dont wanna be the bitter boring adult [although i might sound like one sooner or later]
Its ok to be wise and naive the same time i guess??
And by naive i mean, let you inner child shine and live on inside you, dont restrain him/her, that's how you will gain inner peace , when the child inside you are having freedom.
Do not lose hope! Its not really about , will i be rich or getting anything else in future , but to just not waste anytime on things that i dont even like , and live my life to the fullest with the stuff i treasure ><>< [mom and dad pls stop expecting me to be famous/rich next time, i cant guarantee that :/ ]

GOODNIGHT!

ps: Hair pls stay with meeeee TT

MARCH!
I wasn't doing anything in February.
YES, not a single thing has been done and i cant blame the shorter length of days in february,too.
*Guilty Guilty Guilty*

And so, I got this Voucher from the goverment worth Rm 250 , enough for me to afford the ARTBOOKS that i have wanted for such a long time *laugh loudly* ~
It's a bless that I got this vouchers at this time of the year because I'm still struggling for $$ , as I'm currently saving up to buy Wacom Intuos 5 tablet
I cant wait to get it , and do some digital paintings that i wanted to do for like ages.

Assignments? I think I'm handling well so far, At least I dint hav to stay up later than 2 a.m to do my work because I have time in the morning to refine them before i hand them up. > <
Seems like my friends are having hard time on the assignments, and then I realize the reason I can finish them on time. BUT here's the problem, although i finished my assigns on time, but I barely get As from lecturer D: Its always B, B- ,B+ ,B ......etc etc.
And then I tried to summarize my problems then i realized ,
1st at all, I HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE, the past few months i haven been to a cinema , getting afternoon snacks or even watch any sort of ANIMES! [read some manga though] .
2nd, I was being lazy , as long as i finish my work i dont refine it for the second time, just because its basically "Done" and i was too lazy to do a double check.

Being lazy and not passionate is still my biggest problem of all,[well i had a problem with the unhealthy lifestyle of being lazy to go out too,NOOoooooooooo i dont wanna be an 'Otaku' :/ ]


Nevertheless,
Update : I'll be doing something in these 30 days ^^
Hopefully I'll be able to do it this time!
tune up!


p.s : Works and Commisions are coming in for the FIRST TIME!!!! XDXD